Bertie Byrd Fortney and her new family return from their motor home honeymoon to find Linc, her tow truck driver, being threatened by the Redneck Mafia. Then Bertie is taken hostage by a man who's taught his goats to bark. Then a bizarre accident involving an elderly drunken citizen, a golf cart, a trip to the hospital, and a positive pregnancy test has tongues wagging.

Did Bertie get knocked up on a golf cart by her driver? Will she be able to douse the rumors? Will she pass the wife test?

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